Dear Contestant 45,
Even though you were not our President – that is, you were never a representative of the UK – your dangerous and venomous politics made it across the Atlantic Ocean and found a home here, too. Populists like you have always been present; regretfully, you gave them legitimacy on an international stage.
Your time as POTUS has passed, but we are still tainted by your ilk of leadership. We have you in Prime Minister Boris Johnson.
You helped to sell the Brexit lie: leaving Europe will be the best thing ever! The Big Country will look after the UK! Conditionally, of course, and Our Beloved Leader was only too willing to sell off our sacred institutions to you. Anything you wanted, from the NHS to us abandoning our food standards: poisoning ourselves eating America’s hormone-pumped beef, chemically-sprayed grain and chlorinated chicken.
The truth is were never really a friend to us. We were just a target market.
If you would have prevailed and secured another term as President, the UK would have become a wasteland. We would have almost certainly left the EU without a deal, Boris reassured by your victory. We wouldn’t have left Europe and become independent though; we would have been another US state – more so than we already are. We would have become your landfill.
For many years, the UK has often been in close-step with America: Reagan and Thatcher and their economic reforms, union bashing and laissez-faire Capitalism; Clinton and Blair with their Third Way politics. Then there was you and Boris, with your right-wing Populism and abuse of people’s (often legitimate) grievances for your own selfish ends. The truth is that people like you poison everything you touch.
You are pestilence.
We felt relief watching you lose at least once every day since the outcome of the 2020 US Election; watching one case after the other thrown out of court when no wrong-doing was found. The relief seeing you leave The White House yesterday was equal to the dread of watching you being sworn in four years earlier. Whether anyone likes it or not, the truth is that America shapes the world. Although not American citizens, we feared that under another Trump term, racism and white supremacy would have continued to be emboldened both in America and at home, gathering terrifying momentum.
Of course, no-one could have predicted Covid-19. Indeed, we are now Plague Island, largely because of people like you. Your woeful leadership and failure to act means that you have contributed to 400,000 American deaths and counting. You would not listen to scientists, epidemiologists or virologists. You tried to talk your way out of it, much like Our Beloved Leader does. Of course, you were Boris’s safety net because, whilst you were there not handling Covid, at least it looked like there was someone even more incompetent than him. Now you are gone, so has Boris’s insurance.
You were never qualified in any way to be the leader of the most powerful nation on the earth. Always more concerned with your own narcissistic urges than the needs of those you were supposed to represent. Do you ever feel any guilt knowing what you have unleashed by manipulating people’s unhappiness and resentment? You merely turned it into content for your 4-year-long reality TV show, and now we have to live with the consequences. You don’t see your voters as your base: you see them as your fans. People who will buy your merch and cheer when they see you, because it was always only ever all about you, and how you need those cheers.
Just for now though, let’s be glad you are gone and focus on the positives: you are going to be condemned to the archives of history as a useless waste of time; a poisonous mass of toxic masculinity. The bit that makes us the happiest is that your name will be forever synonymous with incompetent leadership and everything that a POTUS should not be.
Goodbye and good riddance,
The Plague Islanders
~ L&A 21.1.21 ~